Not really been maself of late as i've been thinking way much more than ma age. I just feel things are not really going the way I had planned ma life to be. I have turned into some kinda boring and depressed hag.

Thought at first that nmaybe it was because ma mum was around but instead, it got worse as she left. I always have the belief that your life is what is make out of it and what you want people to see or know about you. I really need to make up ma mind of what i want out of life and the way i want other people to see or view my existence. I tried to break off with ma friend again and it even got worse when he got mad at me and would not see ma reasons or respect ma wishes.....i ended up with him again yesterday, breaking the vow that i had made to masef and the stand I wanted to make. I got home thinking that i was such a big fool and the more i keep prolonging this issue, the longer it would be hard to let go or end up in some kinda of situation that i won't expect.

Ma ex boyfriend called me 2days ago, apparently on the issue that i had reported to ma aunt but instead of me hanging up on him which for sure would be childish and immature. I found masef listening to all the stupid and irrelavant excuses he had to gimme. At the end, he said he would like to meet up and discuss some issues with me as he had the gut feelings that i was pregnant for him and had aborted it. Really got nuthin to discuss with him and be going back to him would be the most stupid and greivous thing i would do in ma lifetime. I just wanna see his misearable self and let him know that am doing even much better than when he was around. We'll see how it goes.