Check out my Slide Show!

A whole lot has happened in wat...a week?
All that keeps me breathing now is just work and work only. Saw my ex at the salon where i went to get ma hair done on sat....was casual and he's been calling to check up on me. Can and will neva go back to him, contrary to wat he believes.....i will be the greatest and biggest fool or "mugun" alive to get back to him, don't need that kinda person in ma life.

Went to church on Sunday "Rhema Christian Ministry" Had a blast there, the sermon was wonderful and they got some fyne brothas up in there. On my way home after dropping ma friends off, was finally stopped by a cop for driving with no insurance. This damn officer followed me home to get proofs that i gat insurance when really i do not have one, gave me a court date and we'll see wat happens bout that....not the end of the world and well, who do we blame but the devil for this, when ma spirit was finally lifting up, then that came up. That just distablized me the rest of the day.

Then came Nov 30th and i forgot ma friends bday....nuthin i can do cos he damn well knows thatg i got a lot going on with these days and he ain't making matters easier for me. I need to put ma feet down and do wat i gotta do.

Weekend was ok, feel for ma kid sister in cotonu, she had an okada accident and was so worried about her. Can't wait for them to get here.....went to go see Denzel's movie "dejavu" and gosh is he cuter by the days? the movie was just phenomenon. Its really is a must see. oh well, lets see wat the rest of this week brings........

Not really been maself of late as i've been thinking way much more than ma age. I just feel things are not really going the way I had planned ma life to be. I have turned into some kinda boring and depressed hag.

Thought at first that nmaybe it was because ma mum was around but instead, it got worse as she left. I always have the belief that your life is what is make out of it and what you want people to see or know about you. I really need to make up ma mind of what i want out of life and the way i want other people to see or view my existence. I tried to break off with ma friend again and it even got worse when he got mad at me and would not see ma reasons or respect ma wishes.....i ended up with him again yesterday, breaking the vow that i had made to masef and the stand I wanted to make. I got home thinking that i was such a big fool and the more i keep prolonging this issue, the longer it would be hard to let go or end up in some kinda of situation that i won't expect.

Ma ex boyfriend called me 2days ago, apparently on the issue that i had reported to ma aunt but instead of me hanging up on him which for sure would be childish and immature. I found masef listening to all the stupid and irrelavant excuses he had to gimme. At the end, he said he would like to meet up and discuss some issues with me as he had the gut feelings that i was pregnant for him and had aborted it. Really got nuthin to discuss with him and be going back to him would be the most stupid and greivous thing i would do in ma lifetime. I just wanna see his misearable self and let him know that am doing even much better than when he was around. We'll see how it goes.

Mum's finally gone.....even tho i couldn't wait for her to leave, I miss her terribly but oh well...its all for the better. Took the day off work yesterday, slept, did ma groceries then went to return the rental. That was one hell of a car (Pontiac Pursuit) thumbs up!

Got to work today and had a real lot of work and files waiting for me. Spoke to my boss bout ma situation and we went for lunch together. Nuthin really much today, pissed at my friend cos he stood me up. Just gonna stay home and watch some movies...just me alone in the house now.

Took the grace of God to get me outta bed today, slept kinda late so it was tough to get up and go to work. Work was ok and the day went pretty fast. Today was ma brother birthday, good to have an elder bro and i really appreciate him. Wish him well in life.

Dunno wat i would have done without ma parents, they are indeed God sent to me, day after day, i just keep thanking God for making them ma parents and I will forever be grateful for that. Sent the stupid gurl her money today and it feels as if a rock was lifted off my shoulders. Piece of advice to anyone reading this, when u see benin people, run for ur dear life as they can be very corny and decieving. They also want something from pple and want pple to do stuffs for them but they ain't ready to give back to you and life ain't just like that!

Nothin really interesting today except thatI spoke to ma close friend chioma and she really is one tough woman, she gave birth and lost her baby 12 hours later, thats a tough situation for a woman to find herslf after 9 good months of pregnancy. She didn't even sound like anything happened which I really admired her for, wat else can one do if not move on with ur life.

Mum's packing together her stuffs and I helped her out with the stuffs i got for my younger ones. Can't believe 2006 is almost over, it feels just like yesterday when we rang in the new year.

Got to work today and the whole atmosphere had this blitz that is all bout the city vote. Worked ma butt off trynna make as much calls as possible for the Quality Assurance Survey and discovered that some people can be so damn rude for no just cause more or less to someone they are talkin to on the phone and got no clue wat they look like. Feel so sorry for those in the telemarketing industry cos am sure they are used to such situation. It took the grace of God for me not to curse at one of the customers.

We were released early to go vote and my companion friend came to pick me up. Called him campanion cos it seems weird calling him my boyfriend. We went for a ride, had lunch and he dropped me off at home. He wanted to spend more time but i seem to be getting better in giving him excuses.

Kinda begining to miss ma mum already but I believe everything that happens, happens for a reason and for the best. Watched one of the home videos I got at the store on sunday, which made no sense to me as their movies gets boring and more stupid by the minute. Switched to ma favourite show "Girlfriends", the show pretty much talks bout life as a woman, single woman, black woman, married woman, inter-racial relationships and all aspects of life....God I love that show. Had ma dinner, and its funny the slut has not sent any treat mails or texts to me. Oh well.....its all gonna be over soon. Tomorrow is anotha day!

Another week is gone. Yesterday was so boring, stayed at home all day. Was gonna go see a movie but ma friends and date opted out at the last minute. Went to the nearest blockbuster movie stores and rented some really outdated movie which i did not even get to watch up till now. I have been having a lot of thoughts today as usual and just felt depress.

I wanna let go of ma current boyfriend or don't even know wat to call him. He's been so good and nice to me but the "but" is that he's married and he's wife just moved to canada to come stay with him. Day after day, i feel so guilty and know that for sure karma is gonna catch up with me. Tried to make him see reasons but he claim to love me so much and can't let me go. I avoided his calls yesterday and I know he'll be so pissed. Spoke to him today, he wanted to see me but I just gave him some excuses bout some stuffs i gotta handle. Anyone got any advice for me?

Today, woke up and really don't feel like going to church, one which i've not been in about 2 months. Made breakfast for mum and maself, went to go pick up my big bro who came to spend the last weekend with mum b4 her journey on thursday. Dropped by my old apt. to pick up ma mails and found out that the slut has not come back for her stuffs....guess she don't need em no more. We stopped at the african store, picked up some food items and some home video. The most traumatising thing about today was that, ma mum dragged me to go see ma so called aunt and low and behold met the son of a gun there. He kinda felt invisible there to me cos none of us spoke to the other. Looking at him just made me wanna shoot him with a gun if i had one, for all that he did to me and wat he turned me into. Can't believed he is a daddy, for someone he claimed not to love and just got married to for papers. If only i had listen to my gut feelings and neva had anything to do with him cos he was nuthin but bad news...and as long as there's God, he'll sure regret all he did to me. Can't trust no guy no more cos they are all nothing but ass wipes.....sorry guys...but thats wat y'all are. I gotta move on with ma life but its tough and the way am going, doubt if i will ever date or even marry any naija guy.

So much that gurls go thru all in the name of love and relationships. Right now, am living ma life one day at a time and we'll see wat comes outta dat. I believe there's much more to life than dating and relationships.